1   2   3  

thecharlottevdb:

The only known cure of a hangover is to drink more, right?

image

Right, or just don’t get hungover in the first place.

laneysmh:

I just picked up a huge bag full of Valentine’s candy. Now this is the best part of the holiday. The cheap after holiday candy.

Agreed, hands down the biggest perk. Who cares about boys when you can have chocolate.

image

professor-pavlos:

Then why bother? Drunken knowledge, much like alcohol is never retained for too long.

image

I’m not blacked-out drunk. I’m coherent and having a conversation with you, so chances are I’ll remember every bit of what were talking about tomorrow. Just tell me, I’m actually curious and that’s rare considering the subject.

professor-pavlos:

Well I can’t just tell you. I’m surprised you don’t know, it’s a very commonly told one.

image

You could, since its the weekend, I’m tipsy or drunk whichever you’d rather believe and my brain is shut off. 

rolandtbh:

You could always just purchase a personal massager and consumate it, so to speak. 

That’s actually funny, but its not as fun alone. I just want to be legally bound to myself and never have to be dependent on another person in my life. But just because people suck doesn’t mean I’m gonna resort to doing all my hobbies alone. Sex is fun, and having that kind of fun alone just isn’t right.

rolandtbh:

It isn’t, but I’m proud of you for showing yourself some self love.

And I proud that you care. I always love myself though, especially when I drink because alcohol just gives you a clear view of the world. Most people suck, and I don’t know. So I want to put a ring on it, make it official but I feel like that weird.

professor-pavlos:

Reminds me of a certain mythos I can’t seem to put my finger on.

image

Now I’m curious though, who is it?

Well I started drinking at 5pm and I’m still drunk, and still happy and I had roses delivered to me, the card said they were from me. I love myself, and I’m my own Valentine. Is it legal to marry yourself? Because that’s the only logical thing for me to do right now.

image

wtfseb:

duh. i’ll even get you a jet. let’s get hitched.

Will there be champagne on this jet? And am I allowed to be shitfaced when I say I do? 

thecharlottevdb:

What a dull evening.

image

Complaining won’t make it better. Are you sober? Because if your answer if yes, you’re wrong.